Seth Smut
by wistfulthoughts
Summary: A test case to see if a love of reading lemons translates into the ability to write lemons. Sexy nonsense all about my favorite wolf, Seth. AU, AH, OOC, Seth X Kate. Classic plot: Boy meets girl, girl kicks boy's ass, boy falls in love.
1. Chapter 1

**Seth Smut**

**Q: What is going on in Seth's mind?**

**Q: Can a love of reading lemons translate into an ability to write lemons?**

**This is just my trial attempt at a little lemon tart, however, if you want to read a real Seth story – check out Krum Cake's _Well, This Sucks: Life According to Seth_.**

* * *

Chapter 1 ~*~

So we head out of the restaurant after eating our burgers and I'm trying to keep my head from zoning out. I'm just mesmerized by her perfect firm ass walking in front of me – blissful temptation I would love to stroke.

I push open the door for her, taking a deep breath.

Focus on the face, jerk. She's gonna think you're a perv!

But then as she's walking out the door in front of me, she leans in and brushes her hand along my abs, catching my t-shirt. And well, that gets my full, immediate attention. All I can think is how much I want to push her hand lower so she can get a firm grip on my dick.

Kate leans in closer, almost to my ear and says, "Thank you," quietly whispering all breathy and hot on my neck.

My eyes drift to the scoop neck of her shirt which is totally gaping open, showing off those full breasts. Ohh god. I almost grabbed her tits right there in front of the diner. I just can't get my mind out of the gutter! All I can think about is fucking her frantically against the welcome sign.

Kate just smirked and walked to the car. God help me if she ever guesses what I am thinking. It's not like I ever mastered the expression of cool disinterest, so who knows what she read on my face.

My walk to the car required an adjustment of my jeans and a moment mentally listing all the possible replies I could have said but didn't when I just stood at the door staring at her breasts and watched her walk away like a moron. Not that the show wasn't worth it! Hell, the image of those breasts was seared into my brain, but looking like a doofus was not exactly my goal this evening.

So Kate stood there by the car, waiting and watching.

In a terrible attempt to be smooth, I put my arm around her waist and suggested, "Why don't we pick up a movie to watch at your place?"

Kate's eyes sparkled, "Yeah, and I have this really comfortable couch…" she said, nodding knowingly, as her lips smirked.

I rolled my eyes. I'll never live down that comment about her couch.

So movies, Milk Duds, ice cream bonbons, and $22 bucks later we get the DVD started and she snuggles right into my lap. Who the hell knows what is playing on the screen because all I am looking at is her beautiful face. I want to smother myself in the silken river of blond hair that she just let down. Oh, and that was soooo fucking sexy to watch! She arched her tits out and with her hands up behind her back she looked like the silhouette of one of those pin up posters from the 50's, but right here in the flesh. Kate as Betty Fucking Paige as she undid the clip in her hair. It just tumbled down and she shook it out before settling against me again.

"Seth," she murmured.

Yes my darling, most delectably fuckable girl? Whatever can I do for you, to you, with you? Anything to keep you here next to me.

"Do you want a bonbon?" I ask, picking the lid off the chocolate covered ice cream nuggets.

"Humm… chocolate."

I held the chocolate against her lip and gently rubbed it, slightly smearing the melting shell. Her tongue darted out along the edge of her mouth, licking the chocolate off.

"Open up."

Obediently, she opened her mouth, her eyes connected with mine. Ohhh, that look on her face! I could get lost in those icy blue depths. But then I pop the drippy ice cream bite into my own mouth.

"Seth!" she complains with a smile, "That was supposed to be mine."

"Really? They're good," I replied, "and you look so hungry." I picked up another out of the container and began to smear chocolate over her lips again.

"So messy… let me get that." I lean in and start licking the chocolate off her top lip. I am very thorough. As I suck her plump bottom lip, getting my tongue along the corners of her mouth, she starts to laugh again.

"Seth," she starts, but into her mouth goes the bonbon. Even as she's swallowing the ice cream, my tongue keeps licking her. I go back for her lips again, sucking, and this time she moans as her mouth opens. That sweet, hot mouth is moaning just for me.

I need to fill my arms with her, so I move her around to straddle my lap, my tongue still caressing hers. The feel of her slim legs tightly encased in those black jeans makes my cock ache to thrust up and fill her.

But she pushes me away.

"Wait. My turn."

I'll wait forever if I could spend it listening to that sexy voice, so low and breathy again. This time I get chocolate smeared on me and her pert tongue takes its time licking it slowly away. I can't stand the feeling and groan. I grab her right thigh and massage her leg as I move my hand up to cup her ass. My other hand just can't keep out of her beautiful hair.

"Ummm… Seth, why don't you take off your shirt?"

Half way through her sentence, my t-shirt is gone, thrown over the back of the couch. I move her hands right to my chest. Kate starts making swirling shapes over my skin with her nails. Oh god, that feels so good. I have to kiss her again, but this time her lips are just my starting point. I wander down her neck, laving my tongue along the soft, tender skin. I nibble her ear, but when she traces over my nipples, I stiffen, groan, and start sucking on her neck in earnest.

She shrieks and squeezes tightly against my chest, her breasts smashed so fully to my skin that I can feel the bow at the middle of her bra. Kate's scoop neck shirt shows off those stunning breasts and I simply follow its beautiful beaded path, licking and sucking, so that no bit of exposed skin feels neglected. The soft rise of her breasts is only surpassed by the valley of cleavage in the center. I just can't keep away from that luscious center. I lick down between her full breasts again as she arches her back, moaning and looking like some seriously sexy fucking sacrifice about to be eaten.

As she's arching her back, gasping and crying out my name – music to my ears – I ease my palms up her back, moving her shirt away. Her fingers are in my hair and each breathy gasp is accompanied by squeezing and pulling which is driving me wild. I break away from sucking on the curve of her breast to see the red mark I've made. Now I know marking a girl with a hickey isn't cool, but just looking at it on her gorgeous neck, knowing that it's there, gives me such satisfaction. It's like her very body is shouting out to the world that she's mine.

I raise her shirt up past her bra and can't resist the temptation to cup her. I fucking love that red bow in the center of her bra.

"Oh Katie, you have the most amazing breasts," I said.

"Uh, thanks, they're kind of impressed by you too. Maybe this would be easier if I just took this off," she muttered and pulled her shirt off over her head.

I traced my finger along the edges of her bra, up the straps, gently easing them off her shoulders, along the back, unhooking the bra. Slowly and tenderly I peel the lacy sides forward until they hung loosely, that little red bow dangling in front. Lifting free first one breast and then the other, I licked slowly around each nipple and then sucked hard.

I love hearing Kate scream.

* * *

**~*~**

**The first time I surfed some of the Twi sites, I was confused by the fruit salad references. Ok, apple – Duh… I got that, but I was thrown by the bananas, limes and lemons. I like it - sex, smut, pervy-liciousness, mature, graphic, rated X, soft, with or without piercings, tattoos, whips, blindfolds, cannon, AU, AH, OOC – whatever.**

**But since I am such an English nerd, I want to know the etymological semantics at work here:**

**Why the hell are they called lemons? **


	2. Chapter 2

**Seth Smut**

**So, first base is kissing, second is coping a feel, third is petting down below and a home run is intercourse, right? I've been married too long – I used to know these things!**

**Oh, and to clarify – I am not Stephenie Meyer. Her characters, plots, caffeine hang-ups and big ass royalty checks are not mine. Damn it all.**

* * *

Chapter 2 ~*~

I love hearing Kate scream.

I love her sighs, moans, gasps and those panting sounds that increased in frequency. I love hearing her call out my name when she cums – drawing out the vowel sounds. But best of all is the screaming. I love my wild, noisy girl.

It's a damn good thing we never hooked up when I was still living with my mom. My sister, Leah, was always a pain in the ass, teasing me about what I was up to locked in my bedroom. She'd have gone berserk hearing Kate. Thankfully, Kate's apartment was in the far corner of the complex property – two bedroom, one bath, bungalow style – no one could hear a damn thing as I sucked on those pink nipples so hard that my beautiful Katie screamed.

We ended up at Kate's place both other times we went out. She knew I had roommates and frankly, they are total slobs. Bringing a girl back there just didn't ooze class if you know what I mean. Besides, Kate deserved better than to be ogled by my horny friends.

See, right there – what am I thinking? Who am I? This girl has completely messed with my mind. Whenever we are out, I'm totally nervous and awkward. I'm scrambling to act like a gentleman, treat her respectfully and take her nice places, when all I really want is to paw at her boobs and fuck her sideways so hard she screams.

She's just the hottest thing ever; as tall as I am with long legs that beg to be wrapped around my waist. I know she's all flexible since she did ballet as a kid. But Kate's more than beautiful and sexy. She just kills me with her 'I'm not taking your shit' attitude.

The first time I ever saw her, she dropped me. Right flat on my ass. And it hurt like shit too. Her class at the gym was finished. I was checking out her very fine ass through the glass partition when I had the brilliant idea of trying to impress her. So, I go over and ask if I can help her out, you know, work on moves together.

She gets this coy smile, "Sure, I could use some help with this flip we tried out in class."

So I'm thinking it's like a cheerleader flip where she's going to be bending over backwards, and I just can't wait to spot her. Maybe I'll grab an ass cheek or caress her thigh as she bends. So I say, "Oh flips, yeah that's cool."

"I don't know if it will work; are you sure you want to help me?" she says all flirty.

At this point I am so full of myself and completely lost in a testosterone haze that I say, "Oh, honey, I won't let you get hurt." Totally clueless, I even give her a patronizing wink.

Next thing I remember is being slammed onto my back and staring up into her icy blue eyes. She smirked, "What d'ya know? It worked," she said, and stalked off.

Oh shit.

That did not go well. If there was any chance of salvaging this I needed to hurry:

1. Pull my chin off the floor and get my mouth working again

2. Drag my sorry, sore ass out of the gym classroom to catch up with her before she drives away

3. Get her to talk to me as I trail her to her car like a pathetic puppy

Not my finest hour.

As I blabbed incoherently about how beautiful she was and how much I wanted to see her again and how I'd never met anyone like her before and how hot she looked in her sweaty workout clothes, she simply stood by her car silently.

Eventually, I realized how big of an idiot I was being and so I tensed, waiting for her to flip me on my ass again, right there in the parking lot.

She didn't.

She just looked me over and hesitated, as if she was trying to come to a decision.

"I am having dinner tomorrow at Gustavo's on 5th Street; you may join me there at 6:00 p.m."

"Wait," I said as she turned to go, "What's your name at least?"

"Kate," and she drove off.

Fuck me – it was the hottest thing ever and she didn't know my name or even seem to care.

Dinner at Gustavo's was a trip. I knew I needed to pull shit together; so I dressed nice, brought flowers, and generally pulled out all the stops. I felt like it was a fuckin' job interview only layered in sexual tension.

Kate was wearing this black dress that clung to her every curve. Her hair was up and she had on these fuckhot glasses to read the menu. I never got turned on before by the whole naughty teacher/ librarian thing, but it is totally front row in my spank bank from now on. My dick was hard the minute I sat down.

After we ordered, she got right down to it, "So, tell me about yourself."

I talked about home, school, job, etc. briefly, and because I'm not a complete nimrod, I asked about her interests and we traded the pertinent details. She's working at a law office; I'm an assistant for an architectural firm. She went to an East Coast college; I went to the local state school. She's an only child of divorced parents who died when she was young; I still have to deal with an overbearing older sister and a meddling mom.

The food and conversation were good, and I felt like we were clicking. As the evening drew to a close, she said, "Well, Seth, you managed to redeem yourself tonight. I didn't think that was possible after that pathetic attempt to pick me up at the gym. I'm working long hours on a case that will go to court this week, but I'm free Saturday." She stood up and turned to walk out of the restaurant.

I called out to her, "Can I at least get your number, Kate? I'll call you about Saturday."

"Oh, you won't need my number to find me… come on," and she walked away.

I just stared at her in surprise.

Ok cool, I could go with this – and here I thought that the evening was over. I walked out following after her.

She stepped off the curb outside the restaurant and grabbed my hand. "I live across the street... there," she pointed to the apartment complex on the other side of 5th Street.

We reached her door and she pulled out her key. She looked right at me and slowly asked, "So... would you like to come inside, Seth?"

Oh, hell yes.

Kate, I would soooo very, very much like to come inside – I'll come on your breasts, between your legs, in your mouth – wherever you'll let me.

I just nodded.

* * *

**~*~**

**Alright, you pervs – join the club.**

**What was the location of your best kiss/ fondle/ fuck?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Seth Smut**

**Against his bedroom wall/ in a chapel / at the top of the stairs **

**For the record, my husband is mortified about the church bit and still feels really guilty whenever I bring it up to tease him. I however, have no regrets and refuse to feel guilty. *smirk***

* * *

Chapter 3 ~*~

Kate's place had stark white walls, high ceilings and was decorated with dark cherry wood furniture. There was a large 'L' shaped couch in the living room with some sort of fish pattern and a pile of photo albums on the TV.

Kate still had my hand as she led me inside, kicking off high heeled shoes and tossing aside her purse. We stopped at the kitchen counter.

"Vanilla or raspberry?"

"Ummm…vanilla?" I say hesitantly, unsure what exactly I'm agreeing to or choosing.

"Ok," and she spins away from me.

There is a clink of glass and she pulls down two shot glasses in one hand and a bottle of Vanilla Vodka in the other.

"Here," she says, "grab the raspberry one. It's on the top shelf. She pours the shots, grabs hers and clink it to mine before I can even wipe the bemused look off my face.

"Prost!" said Kate and downs the shot.

Four shots later we slam down the glasses together and take a moment just looking at each other. Kate tenses her shoulders, then stretches up with her hands in the air.

"Ahh, I needed that," she mutters as she's flexing her back and crinkling her eyes. She tilts her neck to the side and scrunches her shoulders up as I stare at her.

I can't help but touch her. Smoothing along her curving shoulder and back, my hand follows the line down to her hip. I've drawn closer at the same time and when her eyes open again, I bend to kiss her like she's something precious. Her cheek is soft as I nuzzle up against her. Kate's mouth opens and she begins to tilt her head back.

I murmur in her ear, "Your couch looks really, really comfortable."

She, of course, busts up laughing at me, gasping through giggles that she envisioned Barry White with his 70's soul music deep bedroom voice saying that. When she can breathe again, she pushes me away saying, "Well, go check it out, don't let me stop you."

So I walk over by the couch, but pause at the open photo album on top of the stack instead.

"Is this you?" I ask.

"Yeah, I'm organizing baby pictures for that one," said Kate nodding.

"Ohhh, I like this one, you're naked in the bath," I said, looked up to see if she was smiling.

"Heck yeah," she promptly agrees, "Kermit the Frog's humping rubber ducky in the corner there. Orgies at bathtime… can't beat that… good times."

Great, now all I can think of is Kate naked in a bath, her long legs barely covered with water and soap bubbles dripping down her breasts.

In a futile attempt to distract myself, I say, "Here, tell me about the other pictures."

She walks over and stretches out on the couch, "Ok," she teases, "but you'll have to join me and Barry White on this really, really comfortable couch."

What a tease. I bring the photo albums over and we literally spend the next four hours laughing and kissing and trading memories of growing up.

I'd started out seated normally on the couch by her head so we could both see the pictures, but as we go through them, she crawls up closer and ends up wrapped around my neck. By the time we get to the high school pictures she's practically seated on my lap.

"No! Do't look at that one. Aaaakkk, awkward high school," she screams out when I trade to the next one in the pile.

"No way," I reply, "I've seen you at every other age. It can't be more embarrassing than sexy bath time orgy baby Kate."

I open up the album to the middle and stare at the picture on the left.

"What are you doing, right here in this one?" I said, pointing.

There was a long pause.

I turn to look at her, expecting an answer.

"Head banging to _Living Years_."

"Oh," I said, "that's why your hair is all over the place," and then what she said actually clicks in my mind. "Wait, to _Living Years_? That Mike and the Mechanics song about missing people after they've died? That is so not a heavy metal song!" Now I am totally confused.

Then she starts to sing, "Say it loud, say it clear, you can listen as well as…"

And as I look closer at the picture, I realize why the other kids in the picture are bent over like they are in pain – they are all laughing hysterically. I have to kiss Kate to shut her up so she would stop singing.

"God, that was so funny!" she said against my lips, "We were just joking around after school, being complete dorks. I can't even remember who took the picture. I'm glad I have it, though."

We kept looking and laughing, turning the pages of the album. High school and college pass quickly with fewer pictures. We get to the end and I set the albums aside to twist and lie out on the couch corner, pulling Kate on top of me. She's all relaxed and just melts onto my chest. I'm sure the alcohol helped, but wandering down memory lane together has gotten through Kate's initial reserve or apprehension that I sensed at dinner. I pull her in closer and kiss her cheek. I could stay like this forever, just holding her.

Although, Kate clearly has more on her mind.

Her foot has been rubbing my calf and her finger nails have slipped up to flick my nipples. Doesn't take long for the images in my mind of calm forever to be swiftly replaced by the hot and heavy fucking I am imagining in the here and now.

I groan as she pinches and pull her hand away, lifting it up over her head. I flip us to the side and now she's squashed into the couch so I can lean into her.

"Now you're gonna get it," I growl and attack her neck. Kate's totally into it, too. Arching her back to me and squeezing my ass to bring me closer. Then her foot keeps inching up until she's hooked her knee around my waist.

And I just about lose it right here, imagining how that must look. Her dress barely covered anything when she was standing, but now it's got to be all hitched up, showing off those fantastic legs and the swell of her butt. Suddenly, I am frantic to know what color her panties are. I bet they're black to match the dress – and definitely a g-string cause she's a sexy girl.

So my hand goes wandering. Maybe I'll get to see them. Ummm, maybe not – this is a first date. Fuck, I want to fuck her. But I really don't want to screw this up. How the hell do I know if Kate is the type to put out so soon? I certainly didn't get that vibe at dinner. But back to her place, drinks and making out on the couch could mean she wants to, right? Fuck! I don't know. Damn it; better behave like the gentleman, especially after all that alcohol. Well, if I'm not getting that far, I sure better take advantage of her enthusiastic responses right now.

My hand is on her waist where it dips down and I just love feeling her squirming. She looks so turned on with heavy eyes and little purrs coming from her throat. I have to kiss that mouth again and play with her tongue. As she opens up to me, my hand slides along her hips and over her ass. The material of her dress is not thick and I can tell immediately that she is not wearing a g-string.

I pull up, eyebrows raised, "Kate, are you wearing underwear?"

"Nope."

I think I may have passed out there for a moment. My eyes certainly rolled back into my head and I was seeing stars. Holy Shit! She was not wearing anything under there all through dinner and back here and looking at pictures and fuck me, the only thing between my straining dick and her is that thin dress. Well, that and everything I've got on.

I chuckle and can only grin, "Well, that's hella sexy."

"Don't get any ideas," she says as she gives me a light smack on the cheek.

Uh yeah, way too late for that. All I've got are ideas now. My head between her legs, licking her exposed pussy. My hand smacking her ass as I take her from behind. Her head flinging back as she bounces up and down on my hard, stiff, painfully erect penis that is about to explode.

Fuck!

Must keep this light and teasing – must not molest this girl – must control the desire to jack off right here on her couch – light, teasing, right…

"Oh I've got ideas… I thought for sure you would be a black lace kind of girl."

"Well, maybe I am sometimes," she teased back, "but no fashion shows on a first date." She wags her finger at me.

"Ok, I can wait 'til Saturday."

She laughed.

But at that moment we heard some god awful screaming outside. It sounded like a baby being kicked around, but with more hissing.

Kate yells out, "Shut up!" and groans, getting off the couch.

Now I'm ready to groan – Kate, why the hell are you leaving? Don't go away!

"My neighbor has cats, but I don't think she gets them fixed. They make the most god awful racket! I hate them. Cats are the devil's minions," she mutters.

She grabs my shoulder with an excited look on her face, "Let's go throw rocks at the cats having sex!"

Now I am not thrilled at this idea, having more than a little charity with any creature who is getting some tonight, unlike myself. But Kate's already up and out the door, gathering pebbles to toss at them.

And they sure are making horrible sounds.

Not to mention the fact that they are the reason I am no longer on the couch with Kate's legs wrapped around me and her ass exposed.

Stupid fucking cats.

If my evening is not going to end in orgasmic sex, theirs shouldn't get to either.

* * *

**~*~**

**So what was the most aggravating cockblock you've ever had to deal with?**


	4. Chapter 4

**Seth Smut**

**Honestly, the only thing that has ever gotten in the way of sex for me is when my husband is acting like an ass. Please don't ask how often that happens, that is just too depressing to think about.**

**Disclaimer: I have no idea where this story is going. I am clearly not in charge as I intended this to be a oneshot full to the brim of sexy lemony goodness. However, these characters seem to have a mind of their own and bear little to no resemblance to anything Stephenie Meyer intended (innocent? pure minded? please – for a boy???). **

**I have a newly discovered turn on/ interest in body artistry all due to the amazing design work described in "Inked" by ARenee363 and "Clipped Wings and Inked Armor" by hunterhunting – check them out!**

* * *

Chapter 4 ~*~

Despite all my fantasizing about Kate in a strip tease style parade of lingerie, I did not get laid on Saturday.

And despite all the hot and heavy sucking and screaming from Kate when we went out the next day, I did not get laid on Sunday.

Walking around with a dick this hard is not good for a dude's health. I need some relief. I've seen those crazy commercials about the pills a guy can take and even they say it's dangerous to get an erection that lasts over four hours! That shit ain't healthy and it's fucking painful. I don't want to end up in the hospital with an exploded dick, busted from the pressure. That would be fucking embarrassing.

It's bad enough to have to constrict myself in these tight pants. Of course, it would totally look worse with a tented 'here I am, come fuck me' dick sticking out. But I just can't help it.

Thinking of Kate leads to thoughts of kissing Kate, and that leads to thoughts of sucking Kate, and that leads to thoughts of fucking Kate, and that leaves me hard and twitchy! My dick's like a fucking compass and she's the god damn north pole.

It's been almost two weeks and I haven't even made it to third base with a girl who went commando on our first date.

What the hell???? Someone, please tell me what is up with this!

Does the universe hate me?

Am I being punished?

Exposed pussy is a universally acknowledged welcome sign. It is like the third base coach waving you in. It is like flashing pink neon, 'SEX WILL BE HAD HERE.'

Except, apparently for me.

It's not like Kate's pushing me away or not interested, either. No! And that actually makes my balls ache worse. She likes to tease, sure, but she's totally into everything we're doing until we get interrupted or have to stop.

Hell, she was pissed when my new manager called from work flipping out about how he screwed up the building plans for the hospital project.

Keith Nisqual, the architect I work for, hired me two year ago and I've been assisting him with projects since; gradually doing more of the prep work with clients and organizing all our people at the office to prepare for presentations. However, when James was hired as a new manager, part of my job changed. He's an arrogant shit who somehow has managed to cover up his gross incompetence in front of the firm's owner. He's technically my superior and so even though I am better at the job he's supposed to be doing, I've got to cooperate or I look bad.

I am hoping that Mr. Nisqual has some big plan for me that include a promotion, raise and corner office as soon as James gets his shit together. Hell, I've got more brain cells in my pinkie finger than James does total. So, to get called in by James on the weekend when I am with Kate, sucked ass.

My dick was not happy.

I was not happy.

Kate was not happy.

Kate's breasts, which I had previously been sucking, were really not happy.

Like I have time to train my new boss on a weekend and fix his mistakes before the presentation.

Bastard.

James is an idiot.

Stupid cockblocking fucker.

And those fucking cats, too.

Bastards, all of them.

Kate and I made plans for dinner the next day, but even then, that evening did not fulfill all my hopeful horny expectations. My salacious visions of us on her comfortable couch went a lot further than just second base. However, we had to cut Sunday short because Kate's cousin Irina was flying in to visit for the week and Kate had to get up at the butt crack of dawn on Monday to pick her up at the airport in Seattle before going to work.

Apparently, the name Irina means 'Peace'. I wonder if there is another meaning to that name, say… 'She who quadruples Seth's sexual frustration'?

Just ask me how delighted I was that Kate was going to be spending all week with her cousin… seriously, ask me. I wanted her plane to explode, her car to crash, anything!

So, when I actually met Irina and found out what a really cool person she truly is, I felt kind of stupid and a little guilty. I mean this girl is the only family Kate has left in the world and they hardly ever get to see each other. And here I am, Mr. Dumbass Selfish Boyfriend, dreaming of ways for her to die so I can screw Kate.

We all met up after work on Thursday for drinks downtown and it was clear right away how great Irina was for Kate. They were laughing and joking and it was actually fun to be with both of them. Irina just has this comfortable, genuine way about her. Like she instantly gets you and it feels like she thinks the best of you. She somehow sees your potential and makes you believe it too.

I could tell that Kate really loved her. But watching the two of them together was like a ping pong match when they started reciting lines from their favorite movies. I tried to follow, but they were all over the place from Disney and musicals to Pulp Fiction, Kevin Smith movies and Ferris Buller.

I had kind of expected some teasing or maybe cold judgmental reserve from someone who was so obviously family since Kate and I had just started dating. God knows, the women in my family would have had both claws and fangs out, ready to go for the jugular.

But Irina was just… kind. She even gave me a hug before I left and told us to, "Be good to each other," like it was some sort of benediction. And who could think about sex after something special like that?

Ok, so maybe only 5 minutes passed before I was thinking about Kate's breasts again, but what the hell - I am a dude.

* * *

**~*~**

**(A440 – Thank you! Wow, I must now go google hentai anime…)**

**The nerdiest tattoo ever – math teacher with the symbol for pi on her hip. She is such a math nerd she probably recites pi decimal places as far as she can at night to fall asleep instead of counting sheep. **

**Can you beat that?**


	5. Chapter 5

**Seth Smut**

**In the mood for a lot of laughs and some seriously sexy flirting? Check out feathersmmmm's "Edward Wallbanger" because it will have you rolling on the floor laughing and your hoohah sitting up all attentive. Love her B and E to death!**

**Odd. My fanfic reading consumption is about 90% E X B and yet can't imagine actually writing about them. **

* * *

Chapter 5 ~*~

Thank God for three day weekends.

I slept in late on Friday after staying out late with Kate and Irina the night before, and so when I dragged myself out of bed, stumbling into the living room wall, Jake was watching the Cardinals game on TV. He starts yammering on about their pitcher, Wainwright – like I give a crap about St. Louis since I grew up in Washington State. He just keeps talking as I stand there, still zoned out and half asleep.

Then Jake is jumping up off the couch, yelling and screaming about some homer in the 9th inning and I have to get away from his screaming because it is way to fucking loud for this time of the morning. Or this early afternoon. Jeeze a pete, I must have been tired, it's almost 1:00.

"Shut the fuck up, Jake!" He followed me into the kitchen and so I punch him in the arm before I get some milk and cereal for breakfast.

I love me some Apple Jacks.

I swear this is the best damn part of living away from my nutrition-nazi mother. I didn't even know sugar cereal existed in this beautiful world until I was like eleven years old and spent the night at a friend's house. They had Frosted Flakes, Alpha-Bits, Sugar Smacks and Apple Jacks all in their cupboard. It was like a whole new world had appeared in front of my eyes. All that had been grey heart healthy oatmeal, now sparkled with rainbow colored sugar frosting and had marshmallows mixed in. I gorged that morning and have loved sugary breakfast cereal ever since.

I must have been bouncing off the walls later when my mom picked me up, because she grumbled and scowled for months after that whenever I'd beg and plead in the market for my choice of boxed breakfast heaven. Moving away from home for college was great if for no other reason than I got to plunder the cereal aisle whenever I went shopping. I don't think I ate much other than canned chili with fritos and cereal my freshman year. I'd even go through phases where I'd only eat the kinds with marshmallows, like Lucky Charms or Alpha-Bits. Then, I'd be on a sugar coating kick, sticking only with Frosted Flakes or Fruit Loops. I still remember the first time I tried Count Chocula. I almost slipped into a diabetic coma after drinking the chocolate sludge at the bottom of my bowl.

So I'm eating my cereal at the sink, blissed in contemplating of the freedom that adulthood has brought me to regress back to childhood each morning, when Jake starts talking again.

"Man, you missed a fuck awesome game. The Cardinals totally have a chance this year to kick some ass."

Jake is a total retard, obsessed with baseball, golf and perfecting the perfect layup shot on the basketball courts, but he's an ok roommate. Pays the rent on time. Doesn't leave his nasty underwear in the living room. Only occasionally bugs the crap out of me.

So, of course, I have to give him crap, "Why you talkin' this way about Wainwright? What will your manlover, Tiger, think?" He has this completely over the top hard on for Tiger Woods. Thinks he's a god among the rest of us mortals. "Won't Tiger get jealous now that you're panting after someone else's dick instead of his?"

"Shut up! It's not like they even compare. Golf is a totally different kind of athleticism than pitching for baseball. The pure talent that the Great Tiger Woods has should not be compared in any way to Wainwright's ability to throw balls."

I just stare at him, eyebrow raised.

"Jake, I really have to question your manhood here."

"Damn it Seth, it's not like that. I'm just saying…"

"Please. Stop. I so do not want to hear anymore about you jacking off to his Nike poster that you've got on your bedroom wall.

"Uuuhh, go fuck yourself, Seth!"

"No, Jake, that's what girls are for. Remember girls? When was the last time you got laid?"

"Fuck you dickhead! I got laid last weekend. Went home with a girl, Lauren something, I met at the club."

"Oh."

Well, fuck.

Even Jake's gotten more action recently than I have.

"Did you bring her back here?" I asked.

"Nay, we fucked at her place."

Right. I looked about our apartment and all that I saw was crap everywhere. Empty beer bottles, newspapers, dirty socks, a pizza box.

"Well, clean this shit up! Kate's coming over later today and I'm sick of living in a pig sty."

Maybe it was time to look into a maid service. Or kick out my roommates and actually live on my own. The rent was sure cheaper this way, but I could totally visualize my own place – a little privacy would be a welcome change. Jesus, I am almost 30. Maybe I do need to tell my roommates to fuck off and go find somewhere else to live. Hummm… not sure I could cover the full rent here on my own though. Not and keep adding to my savings. Well, the lease is up at the end of the year. I'll leave off the decision until then.

I showered, dressed and watched some mildly pornographic HBO series with Jake until Kate showed up.

"Hey Seth. Jake," she nodded at him.

"Damn Kate, you missed the best part, girl on girl tongue action," Jake smirked.

"Charming," said Kate dismissively as I glared at him and flipped him off.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Jake? Let's go," I said and turned to go out the door with Kate.

As we walked to the elevator and got inside, I leaned over to Kate, "It was kind of hot, actually. You ever kissed a girl?"

Kate smiled in spite of herself and pushed me up against the mirrored wall of the elevator, "And if I have…" she purred, licking my ear.

"Wait." I held up my hand, "Don't tell me anymore. That was all I needed. Uhmmm, that is an image that'll stay with me forever."

"So you like imagining me kissing someone other than you," Kate said, a little pissy.

"Well," I backtracked, "only if it's another hot chick and I can watch."

"Ha. Like that's gonna happen. Now get your ass in the car while I try and remember why I like you."

She's forgotten? Oh no, that challenge was not something I was going to meekly walk away from. Instead of getting into the passenger door of her blue Volvo, I pressed up against her, lifted her hair out of the way and began kissing and sucking on her neck. She just melts whenever I do this.

After a few minutes, I quietly said, "Katie, Do you remember yet?"

"ohhh… hunnn" was all I heard.

There was such a big grin on my face, it was a damn good thing that her head had fallen back and her eyes were closed. Her whole body had gone limp by the time I was done, so I plucked the keys out of her hand and guided her firmly to the passenger door of her own car, my hand right on her ass pushing her along.

"I think I'd better drive," I said, as Kate got settled into her seat and I closed the door. Kate just blinked and looked bemused, and we were off down the road before she could protest. Something inside me just growled with pleasure that I had overwhelmed my girl to the point where she was capable of only incoherent moaning, and that same part of me was now howling with satisfaction over the speed and acceleration capabilities of this fine automobile.

Nothing better than a sexy woman and a fast car.

I was also pleased with my plan for the evening, too. Drive down to the marina, walk along the harbor, dinner at sunset – sounds romantic, right? Well, it will be if it doesn't fucking rain all evening. Hopefully, the weather gods will be with me.

Fortunately, the rain held off until we got to the restaurant for dinner, so we had time to wander in all the little shops along the marina and watch some of the boats coming in at the harbor. The pier was closed for repairs after the big summer storm last month, but I didn't care. Just being with Kate window shopping and laughing and the boat names was fun. You've heard of small dick trucks? We saw a lot of small dick boats. Must take a hellava lot of cash to compensate for what isn't hanging between their legs.

We just joked and laughed, watching everyone go by. Kate even dragged me into one of the store front art gallery places. She kept going on about the big waves that were painted on these huge canvases, but I liked the black and white photographs better that were on the other wall. Some had animals or were just wooded landscapes.

"So which one do you like best?" asked Kate.

I looked over them all again and said, "I guess that one, with the hawk," and started laughing.

"What's funny?"

"Well, it just reminds me of this one time I was hanging out with Jack playing basketball at the court in the park. We were walking back to the apartment, ok, and he looks up and sees a hawk like this in the sky. So he says, 'Dude, look at that … uhh… bird.' He paused because he couldn't think of what to call it. I mean it's all I could do not to laugh my ass off at him. So I say, all serious 'Yeah, Jake, that's a cool… uhh… bird,' but then I lost it and cracked up laughing. Jake got all mad and told me to shut up, but it was hilarious. So, yeah, I guess that's why I like that picture best."

I think Kate realized it was hopeless to try and get me interested in art and so we left the gallery.

I did find something pretty to buy for her in the shop across the way, though. There was this sexy mermaid charm on a silver necklace that she really liked. It had curly flowing hair and a flipped up tail, like she was about to swim away.

"You know Seth, this design would make a good tattoo."

"Huh, wouldn't have pegged you as an ink girl. Unless, no, you don't mean for me, do you? Nay, she'd have to have bigger shells," I smirked and pulled up my right sleeve to flex my arm.

"Oh Seth… you are so manly… take me now," she said in a sarcastic, deadpan voice. "Actually, you're wrong about me. I have ink."

"Seriously? Where's your tattoo?" I leered at Kate, scanning her body, trying to guess.

"Which one?" she said pertly, with a satisfied look on her face.

"Holy Shit Kate!"

What the hell happened to Miss Peaches and Cream Innocence I was expecting? What was I thinking? Honestly, this is the girl who considered panties optional on a first date. Why am I surprised that she has multiple tattoos?

"That is something I would really like to see, Katie," I brushed her cheek with my thumb and rubbed it across her lower lip. Her mouth opened and she sucked on the tip of my thumb.

God this girl makes me so hot. And I'm now hard as a rock and I still have to get through dinner.

"So, where would she go?" I asked, pointing to the mermaid, trying to get some blood circulation going above my waist.

"Hum, maybe right below my shoulder, here on the right front."

"It'd have to be small."

"Yeah, but all of mine are. Just reminders."

I looked at Kate, suddenly serious, and her eyes were far away. While I wanted to know more about what she was reminding herself of, I didn't think this was the time or the place for that conversation. I kissed her cheek and hugged her close. Then, I paid for the necklace and we went to dinner.

Dinner was nice. Light conversation, crisp wine, good seafood, but there was tension in my body and depth to the passionate glances we were exchanging. As we ended the meal, we were staring at each other more often than talking.

Finally, Kate said, "Let's go home," which for us, of course, wanting to be alone, was her place.

* * *

**~*~**

**Fret not – the next chapter is already posted. I won't leave it hanging here.**

**The only silver lining I can find about being horribly sick this week is the chance it has given me (when not barfing my guts out) to catch up on my backlog list of fics-to-be-read. I need something new to devour – send me your story recommendations, pretty pretty please! **


	6. Chapter 6

**Seth Smut**

**Dontcha just love those sexy wolves screwing around in the woods? Right now my favorites are a series of Blackwater oneshots by vividink – Jacob and Leah are made for each other. Yummy. "Alpha Female" and "Wish Upon an Eyelash" remind me why I love Lee Lee… **

* * *

Chapter 6 ~*~

We rushed to her car through the rain and drove back, kissing madly at each red light we had to stop at. My tongue couldn't get enough of her taste. We stumbled into her living room, tossing umbrellas to the side and stripping out of wet coats and shoes. It was warm and with all our sucking face in the car, I knew I'd just get hotter, so I kept removing layers 'till I got to my t-shirt.

Kate was still struggling with the zipper on her knee high boots and was half bent over, one hand clutching the side of the couch for balance. The angle was perfect and I slid my hands over her hips to hold them in place as I pressed into her firm bottom. I gently raised her arms up around my neck so she could lay her head back against my shoulder.

Kate kicked off the boot from her foot and began rubbing her hips against my groin. I almost came right there.

"Let's go in my bedroom."

I didn't even need to reply. I just scooped up Kate's legs and held her tight across my chest. She squealed a little, not expecting that, but I could tell she loved being held in my arms. I carried her over to the bed and laid her down, crawling over her. Our arms got tangled in our hurry to get each other naked. She was undoing the buttons of my pants and I was lifting up her top to take it off. But it was quickly down to boxers, bra and the tiniest panties I've ever seen.

She kept rubbing my dick and fondling my balls, so I had to grab her hands up and pin them over her head or this would be over before I even got inside her. I was biting at her nipples through the bra and she kept arching her back up, looking so fucking sexy and out of control.

I sat back to take off my boxers and she slid over, undoing the bra and stepping out of her underwear. She pushed me back and let all of her hair fall around my waist. I knew where she was going with her mouth and I couldn't handle much at this point.

"Kate, I need to cum inside you," I growled.

She just smiled and licked her way up my dick, tasting me at the top and then kept moving up over my body, licking my navel and flicking my nipples, all the way on up to my mouth. I grabbed her to me and flipped us over, moving between her legs.

"Oh it is payback time now, woman."

She giggled, "If you must… ohhhh."

Gently licking each breast, I slid my fingers down between her thighs and swirled around in her wetness. I rubbed her clit and stroked lower with my other fingers. Kate couldn't contain her moans and I loved hearing her, but I needed to taste. I lowered my head down away from her soft breasts and sucked that clit hard as she screamed.

"Fuck Kate," I sighed, and pushed my tongue in as far as I could.

"Oh, yes please. Please, fuck me now!"

Thank god. I couldn't wait any longer either. I grabbed the condom, rolled it on and then surged back to plunge right into her. I was trying to go slowly and make it last, but she just kept thrusting her hips up.

"Harder, Seth!"

Far be it for me to disappoint a lady, so harder and faster I pounded into her. We came in a flurry of screams and grunting. My heart was pounding as I lay slumped on Kate, my head on her breast.

Eventually, we got up to clean off, but she curled right up against me in bed after.

That was when I saw them. The first tattoo was on her back, right in the middle of her left shoulder blade. It looked like Mary holding baby Jesus, standing on a cloud. I traced it with my finger. I knew Kate had not fallen asleep, but her face was turned away from mine.

"When did you get this one?" I whispered.

"When my mom died. It's a hodigitria icon. She who shows the way. My mom loved it and had copies all over the house."

Kate sighed and didn't say anything more.

I caressed her back and kissed her shoulder. Beneath the icon were what looked like broken pieces of glass.

"What about these?" I murmured into her neck.

"The shards are 'cause everything was broken after my parents divorced."

My beautiful Kate. She held her pain so close that she needed it marked on her very skin. I kissed the broken glass on her back and kissed her hand that was resting on her left hip as well.

"And this?" I asked again, tracing the two hands wrapped in rope, clasped tightly together, that was drawn on her hip.

"Huh. That was my first. I was a sophomore in college, completely drunk. And in love. Garrett was my first serious boyfriend and we both got the hands tattooed one night when we were totally wasted."

"So what's with the rope?"

"Well… tattoos are permanent, but… Garrett and I… well… we drifted apart. I had the rope added later. I found out after I graduated that he had gone home and hung himself." Kate was quiet for a moment. "Everybody I love is dead. Except Irina."

I couldn't take not being able to see Kate's face as she broke down like this and so I gently turned her over onto her back. I cupped her cheek in my hand and wiped a tear away with my thumb.

"You have Irina. And now you have me. I love you, Kate and I'm not going anywhere." I kissed her gently and she smiled. "Let's get some sleep. That is, if it's ok with you, for me to stay tonight?"

Kate nodded into my chest, "Thank you."

It was weird to see Kate so vulnerable and sad. She usually gave off a sexy-confident-bitch-vibe. But then, what the hell do I know? I am confessing my love to a girl I've known less than ten days. I must be out of my mind. I've fallen so hard for her.

It was easy to fall asleep with Kate nestled up on my chest. But I swear, I thought I was still dreaming when I cracked my eyes open to see her straddling my lap holding tight to my morning wood.

"You are awfully hard this morning, Seth."

"Katie, why don't you just scoot forward a bit more and take care of that, huh?" I think I could die happy right now. "Ohhhh…God! Kate this is the best wake up ever." I swear Kate's gifted at squeezing the life out of me. I couldn't take my eyes off her as she bounced away. God knows any stamina I've ever had is shot to shit with this girl, 'cause I am always ready to cum.

"Wait a minute, Kate. Turn around, try this. I want you to cum while I'm inside you."

I get on my knees and turn Kate around so that she's facing away from me. I slide back in from behind, but hold Kate up to my chest like last night when we first got home. Kate starts moaning as one hand grasps her breast to pinch her nipple and my other moves down her stomach past her curls to rub her clit.

It doesn't take long – rubbing, pinching and thrusting – Kate screams and her nails dig into my thigh. I can feel her orgasm pulsing around my dick and that sets me off, jerking into her, crying out her name.

When I can breathe again, I tell her, "Kate, that was fucking amazing."

"Right back attcha. Oh, I really need a shower." She climbed off the bed, "You rest. I'll be quick in the shower. Then, we can go get some breakfast."

I sit up, "Oh shit, Kate," my eyes are open wide now as she's walking into the bathroom, "we didn't use a condom this morning."

"Not ready to be a daddy, huh?"

"Uh, no."

"Don't worry about it. I'm on the pill."

"Yeah, well, I'm clean. I've been tested recently."

"Good to know."

Kate took me to her Marie's for breakfast.

Apparently, this Marie Calendar's caters exclusively to Kate. She knows everyone and even introduced me to the cooks in the back. At my puzzled look when she put down both the menus and proceeded to seat us at the table she wanted by herself, she told me, "I used to work here, before I got my job at the law office. They're like family."

It was the best damn breakfast I ever ate that didn't include cereal of any kind. I don't even think what we got is on the menu.

As we sat there, munching on delicious cream cheese pastry and the best salsa covered chorizo and eggs ever, I realized that I really ought to bring up the BBQ to Kate. I didn't want to. I didn't want to go myself, much less drag someone I love there, but I knew bringing me to meet Irina was a big deal for Kate and I wanted to show her off too.

"So, my mom is having a BBQ tomorrow and everyone from the res will be there. Uhhh, would you like to go? Before you say anything, please understand that if we do go, we are going to get a lot of crap, from everybody."

"Seth, of course I'll go. I want to meet your mom and Leah too."

"Trust me, you really don't want to meet Leah. Sure you wouldn't rather just stay at your place Sunday and screw around?

"I bet your mom really wants you to be there, right?"

"Yeah."

"So we can just fuck like rabbits afterwards."

I choke on my water, "Ok," I say as my voice cracks.

Sweet! I love this girl!

* * *

**~*~**

**Finally! I refused to stop writing this weekend until the deed was done. This turned out way longer than my usual short snippets, so I divided it into two chapters and posted them at the same time. I know it took awhile to get Seth and Kate here, but damn it, in my plan they were supposed to get naked way back in C.1! Silly characters, thinking this is their story to tell…**

**So, how does it read??? I am trying to refrain from self judgment here and would really like reader feedback. **

'**This is for posterity, so be honest.' I'm no six fingered man writing the definitive work on Pain, but that always cracks me up. **

**P.S. I've posted the images of Kate's tattoos on my profile page**


	7. Chapter 7

**Seth Smut**

**Awww – over 1,000 readers and invited to a forum? Sniff, sniff. You must like me, you must really like me! :)**

**I need a tech genius as a new friend. Could that be you? I have pictures of Seth and Kate, the tattoos, the places, etc. all saved as jpeg files. How do I turn those saved pictures into something I can link to my profile page? Help!**

* * *

Chapter 7 ~*~

I did not adequately warn Kate about the heinous bitches I am related to.

I tried to explain, but words fail in the face of such complete lack of maternal and sisterly compassion. Sue and Leah are not horrible people, but they just have this way of being so awful and cold at the same time. Like slicing open your arm to rub lemon juice in as they smile and ask about your poor, sick cousin. All sweetness and light until someone opens their mouth.

Frankly, my mom was almost as bad as Leah. Perhaps slightly more subtle in her rudeness. However, with Leah screaming at us when we left, slightly more subtle covers an awful lot of horrid crap. Mom just doesn't give up with her nagging about all the local single girls who I could be with.

Uhgg. As if.

La Push isn't that big and we're sort of related to everyone anyway, but she keeps pushing. It's not far enough removed from inbreeding for my preferences, so thanks, but no. I'm all for tribal independence and respecting my heritage, but let's not close off the gene pool to all outsiders.

Besides, she's a complete hypocrite. Sue is dating a white guy, the sheriff in Forks, the small town outside of La Push Reservation. I don't care if they aren't interested in procreating, that is still a major double standard. You can't give me crap for not dating a native girl when you are boinking someone from outside the tribe, too.

Ew.

Not that I will ever use the word boinking again in connection with my mother. God, that is so gross. Even seeing them kissing was completely wrong and disturbing.

We had driven up to La Push and as I was parking the truck, I saw my mom coming out of the house, so I pointed her out to Kate.

"She's got really short hair now, it used to be really long when my dad was alive, but she and Leah just chopped all their hair off recently. Some mother-daughter bonding thing, I guess."

"Well, the cut looks good on her. I don't know why…" but my shout interrupted her.

"Oh! What the hell? Mom!"

She had come down the steps to the cars parked on the side lawn and stupid me, I thought the excited expression on her face was for her son. But no, she skips to the police cruiser and grabs the ass of the guy standing by the open car door and plants a kiss on him that even I, from two cars distance, can tell was full tongue.

"Hey! That is not right." I yelp as I get out of the truck. "Have some control woman! Your children are here today and don't want to see you groping some guy's ass."

"Oh, Seth," she says like it's no big deal, "Come on over here and say hello to Charlie Swan. He's not just some guy! We've been dating for the last three months and you've known him your whole life."

I struggle to put on a polite face as I shake hands with Charlie.

"Hi."

"Good to see you, Seth."

It couldn't be some random stranger, no. It had to be Charlie, my dad's fishing buddy. This did not sit well. You don't jump into your dead husband's best friend's bed. I mean it's not like I expect my mom not to move on. I know it's been almost five years, but still. I don't want to know or see anything!

I introduce Kate to both my mom and Charlie and we head inside.

It was not a good start. And it did not get much better.

At least Charlie was being polite to Kate. In fact, Charlie even got into a whole conversation with her about the lawyers in her office who dealt with criminal law and they were able to trade some names and joke about the Seattle judges they both had experience with. Not sure I'd ever heard him say more than a couple of sentences before this that were unrelated to sports or fishing. At least he was making an effort.

Mom wasn't rude at first, but she was acting like I'd brought a bunch of friends out of pity because they had nothing else to do. I don't know why I was surprised. Sue Clearwater was gifted when it came to emotional manipulation. You know what they say about the nagging abilities of a Jewish mother when it comes to marriageable mates? Well, my mother could teach advanced classes in Guilt Techniques For Use With Children. Even being home again was like walking back in time. But I am not willing to revert to the boy under her thumb.

So we get out back and most everyone is there. My cousin Emily comes over and she's always nice to see.

"Watch out, Sethy, Aunt Sue's determined this time."

Great.

"What's she been saying, Em?"

"Oh, the usual. You know, how it's so nice how you have friends in Seattle, but you really need to settle down with a nice local girl."

Kate asked Emily, "Doesn't she realize we're dating?" Kate turned to me, "Didn't you tell her on the phone that we were?"

"Yep. I did. Does that mean she listened? Or is that going to stop her? No. Try to ignore her, Kate, she's always bad about this kind of thing."

Emily chimed in with support, "Sue won't accept anyone in Seth's life as serious. Her attitude will always be that there is someone better who she could find for him. She's a matchmaker gone insane."

"Well, mom's out of luck. I am with Kate, whether she likes it or not."

I turn away from Emily and slip an arm around Kate's waist.

"Oh you guys are just too cute!" Emily started to sing, "Seth's in love" in an annoying voice.

"Yes I am." Let's see how she acts with that accepted flat out.

It sure shut Emily up right quick. Her mouth opened, but nothing came out. And then, there was a slow building grin across her face.

After a minute she said, "Then I'm happy for you both." She and Kate were having this whole conversation with their eyes back and forth – god knows what was being said there. Emily just smiled and flitted off to join the party.

Kate turned to me and said wryly, "It's nice to have at least one person in your family supportive."

"I'm sorry, Kate. Maybe this was a bad idea. You shouldn't have to put up with this."

"Seth," she turned around in my arms to face me, "it's ok. I can take anything they dish out, or give back in kind. I'm not going to keep you away from your family. They're blood. The biological clan you come from matters. More than most people realize most of the time. Even if they aren't perfect, they're still family. And at least you've still got yours. I know how important that is. Trust me."

"Yeah, I guess. But I don't want to let them hurt you. I know family is important, but it was never easy for us. Especially after my dad's heart attack. There was so much left unsaid. Things I needed from him, or to share with him." I sighed. "Now, on the other hand, when it comes to my mom and Leah, I wish more would go unsaid," I smirked at Kate, trying to lighten the mood.

Kate just kissed my cheek, "You know what I mean."

I nodded.

"Let's get some food," I suggested, and we stepped off the back porch into the waiting crowd of wolves that I could just imagine: fangs barred, snarling over the fresh meat I'd brought. My protective instincts tensed again. I really hoped that this was not a mistake.

Quill, a friend from high school, was standing over by the food, chatting with my mom and Charlie as they filled their plates.

"What's on your celery, Quill?" I asked. "Looks like a bird took a dump in your hand."

He flashed me an annoyed look, "It's the veggie dip your mom made."

"What's in it? Yuck, it looks disgusting."

"Seth!" my mom scolded, "It's a roasted vegetable puree."

"So, you want us to put vegetables on our vegetables? Jeeze mom, haven't you ever heard of Ranch? Or normal dip? Or potato chips?"

"Seth Harold Clearwater, this is healthier and that is important."

Kate bravely tried to suck up, "Hum, it tastes really good, Mrs. Clearwater."

"Oh, call me Sue, dear. All of Seth's little friends do."

Point to mom.

I ground my teeth as Kate forced herself to say, "Sure, Sue."

"So," I said, wading through all the daggers flying from their eyes, "What's on the grill?"

"We have tandori spiced chicken and salmon with fennel," cooed mom, showing off to Charlie as she ignored Kate.

I looked at Quill. He stared back and shrugged.

"Tandori?" I questioned.

"From India," said Kate.

"Mom, we're not that kind of Indian…"

"Oh, just eat it, Seth, it's delicious," snapped my mom in an annoyed voice.

Point to me.

"Well, I'll have to if I don't want nasty fish," I muttered.

"Not a fan of fish?" questioned Kate, with an upraised eyebrow. A reasonable question since we'd eaten seafood before. I like scallops, shrimp, muscles, lobster and even crab, but not fish.

"Fish is just… fishy. It's gross. Why isn't there any normal BBQ food?" That was aimed at mom to needle her some more. "You know, hot dogs, burgers, maybe a steak?"

"I've already lost one member of this family to a heart attack. I'd appreciate it if you'd at least try to put up with my attempts to keep you healthy and alive."

Point to mom. Do guilt points count double? If so, she's a high scoring champ.

"Sure, mom, I know you're looking out for us," I rolled my eyes at Kate who was trying not to laugh at the fact that my complaining completely backfired. "But I am not eating that mushroom and brussels sprout mix you've got there." But she was already walking away with Charlie, muttering about ungrateful children.

We got our food and sat over by Kim at the long table. Kim had been a few years ahead of me in high school and had married Jared right after graduation. She had started popping out kids right away and they had three now who were all running around the yard screaming and yelling, playing with their dad. Every once in awhile, the youngest would stop and come over to Kim.

"Mommy, Mommy! I'm a 'bulance!"

"Ambulance, kiddo, am\ bu\ lance," Kim would say, pausing after each syllable to help her pronounce it correctly.

"Right, a 'bulance," and the kid would run off again making the most god awful racket.

"So, did your mom push you at Rachel yet?" Kim asked.

"No. Why doesn't she get that I'm with Kate?"

Kim smiled sympathetically to Kate and said, "Don't take it personally, she's just like this."

"Yeah, and it's all your fault for getting married to Jared," I said annoyed.

"Oh, please! I liked Jared all through high school and he just never saw me. I was invisible to him. Boys are stupid. One day, he opened his eyes."

"Well, to hear my mom tell it, she is the matchmaking genius that convinced Jared to ask you out and to propose. She probably even takes credit for your kids and the white picket fence around your house."

Kate turned and muttered into my ear, "Speak of the devil…"

"Over here, Rachel!" announced my mom in a loud perky voice.

God. She's insane.

"Now, Rachel, why don't you sit here by Seth. Kim, you can scoot over to the end. I'm sure your kids need you ready to help them if they get hurt."

As if Kim is a terrible mother, ignoring her children by sitting in the middle of the table to eat. Obviously, Jared, their father, who was playing with them counted for nothing. Kim just shook her head and moved down so that Rachel could sit where she had previously been sitting.

"Rachel, good to see you. This is my girlfriend, Kate." I emphasized the last two words 'girlfriend' and 'Kate' as I stared at my mother.

Fortunately, Rachel is pretty cool with this as it is not the first time we've been set up by my busybody, interfering mother. She jumps right in and starts talking to Kate and Kim, everyone doing their best to ignore the fact that my mother is a psycho.

I get up and walk mom into the house, because I cannot stand any more of this.

But she starts again, "Why can't you find a nice girl to marry, like Rachel?"

"Mom. No. Stop this."

"But it's tradition. Your father and I. Leah and her Sam. You and Rachel would be a perfect couple."

"Mom, you and dad were not from the same tribe and you're dating a white guy now. Sam and Leah broke up a year ago but still hate each other, and last I heard, Rachel was actually dating Paul! Enough! I am with Kate. If you ever want me to visit again, you will stop acting like this to her. It's rude!"

I stomped out of the house.

Is it a point to me since she didn't get the last word? That's pretty rare. I'll take two.

Old Quill was sitting in the porch swing when I passed, so I stopped to chat.

I knew Quill's granddad pretty well. He was one of the elders and had some good stories he used to tell us when we were little. We chatted a bit about my work as I calmed down. Apparently, he knew the uncle of the architect I worked for, Keith Nisqual, from some Intertribal Council gathering. He asked some questions about what an architect does, and then told me to get him a beer before going back to that pretty girl I brought that has, "Sue all up in a tizzy."

I brought him two beers and left with a smile on my face.

After another hour or so, Kate and I were ready to head out. Other than the brief introduction when we'd first arrived, I'd managed to avoid Leah all afternoon. With Leah, avoidance was always a good tactic. Distraction was also a proven life saver. Earlier, Leah had been so busy yelling at her ex-boyfriend Sam that she had hardly noticed us enough to say hello.

I'd thought we might be able to escape without a scene, but she cornered me in the kitchen where I was waiting while Kate used the restroom before we left.

"So Seth, how long have you been fucking that Russian Barbie Doll?"

Classic Leah - rude and crude. But she didn't see Kate come in and certainly didn't expect her to have a backbone. Kate walked over, completely ignoring Leah and asked me, "So Seth, how long has your sister been such a bitch?"

Ha! Point for Kate.

"Forever!" I glared at Leah.

"Oh come on, Seth," scowled Leah, never happy to be ignored. "Couldn't you find a local girl who would tolerate you? Did you have to buy this one online at Russian Mail Order ?"

I tensed to start shouting at Leah, but Kate stopped me with a hand on my chest and a look that said she would take this one.

"My family came from Siberia down through Alaska over 200 years ago, exploring this land before it even belonged to America."

"So what," snorted Leah, "my people were here to greet those Russians and the British and the Americans when they came. And all they ever did was screw us over and fuck up the place! What makes you think you're any different?"

Leah's screeching was contrasted by the smug, dry tone of Kate's voice, "Well, I am skilled at screwing and fucking, but Seth seems pretty happy about that.

Hell yeah! I smiled as we left the kitchen. Triple points to Kate for shutting up my sister. And she even got in another dig as we were walking through the living room, past my mom and out the door.

"Gosh, Seth. Your family is just so nice. I can't imagine why you don't visit more often."

Nice like a root canal.

God, it felt good to leave.

* * *

**~*~**

**I promise they will be fucking like rabbits in Chapter 8. Don't fret. **

**Triple points from Sethy to all who review.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Seth Smut**

**This is for AngelicaRose, who apparently can't get enough smut fast enough, and for Ohlneeme, my first reviewer and the one who got me started with all this fanfic-ery in the first place!**

* * *

Chapter 8 ~*~

The last few days have really sucked. The BBQ was just awful, and Kate and I have both been busy with work this week. And it hasn't helped that the weather has been shitty. Pouring rain is not anything new or different for Seattle, but after a nice weekend with decent weather, the overcast sky and constant dripping gets annoying.

At least we could meet today for lunch. The last few days have just dragged, going so slowly. There was a presentation for clients on Monday and yesterday was the deadline for the hospital project, so the office was crazy.

Kate had to be in court all week, assisting one of the attorneys with some case. She usually deals with wills and trusts and stuff – probate law. But they pulled her in for this hearing in court. It sounded more exciting than what I did this week, but Kate said that going to court is pretty boring. Lots of waiting around the courthouse, waiting for the judge, waiting for the clients, waiting for the other attorney – all waiting and no action.

After the massive clusterfuck that was family day at the Clearwaters, I drove Kate home and we tried to relax. It had been an exhausting afternoon and we were pretty touchy feely – starting with a foot massage and then neck rubs. Plenty of tension and stress knots there after dealing with Leah and mom. Even after she worked her magic fingers, I was still feeling pissed about all the crap from my family. They wanted nothing more than to push her out of my life; like she was worthless, unimportant. It wasn't just that they didn't like her – hell they didn't even know her. But they didn't know me. Didn't know me well enough to realize she mattered. To see that I was not someone they could control or intimidate.

I needed to be closer to Kate. Her touch helped, but I guess I wanted more. Something to fill me inside. Something to make it right. I needed to show her, make it clear that she was mine. That it didn't matter what my family thought or said.

I pulled her onto my lap and stuck my hands up her skirt.

"I want to watch you cum, Kate. Right here for me." It was suddenly vitally important to me that I do this for her. That I bring her to climax and witness her lose control. I needed to see her completely mine.

I parted her legs that lay across my thighs and pressed in. I fingered the delicate lace of her underwear and slowly dragged it down her legs. She rose up and squirmed a bit, helping to get them down her legs. I pulled her across to straddle my lap.

Knowing that Kate was wide open to me was intoxicating. She was like a drug, and I wanted more. I pulled her in tight and crushed her lips to mine. I was already breathing heavily and my pulse pick up. I had to make this perfect for her. My fingers were anxious, but could appreciate her smooth skin as my hands stroked her thighs. I teased her a little, skimming my fingers along the edges of her opening.

I couldn't wait to watch her orgasm and feel her trembling in my arms as she came. It would be satisfaction and release for both of us. A connection that would cancel out the destructive forces that tried to pull us apart earlier. I had to prove they were wrong about us. Seeing Kate shimmering in ecstasy that I had helped to bring her to would assuage that nagging pull in my heart. She was the altar where I would worship.

As I was touching her, reaching inside and pushing through the silky wetness, Kate pulled my neck closer and bit me. She's got sharp teeth, too. But it felt good. She licked up to my ear and started sucking on the earlobe.

I love her needy physical reactions when I'm stroking her to orgasm. She gets all soft and moaning and her mouth just needs to suck. Sometimes it's my fingers or neck or tongue, but she just won't let go as she's getting close. I can tell how close to climax she is; the moaning turns to screaming and the biting turns to sucking.

I bit at her covered breasts, searching for the tender nipples.

"Tell me you love this."

"Yes."

"Tell me you love me."

"Ohhh, I love how you… this… uhh, feels."

Not quite the admission I was looking for, but she was past coherency for now. I thrust my fingers up inside her and stroked the soft tissues inside, massaging her g-spot. Her hips couldn't stay still; she needed more friction. I rubbed her clitoris, lightly at first and then with greater pressure. When I squeezed her bottom with my other hand she lost control and shuddered against me.

I love holding slumped, boneless Kate on my lap. After a few minutes, Kate came out of her orgasmic coma, nuzzling my neck and hugging me tight.

"That was amazing."

"Glad you enjoyed yourself."

"Why don't you just unzip those pants so I can enjoy myself some more?"

"Kate," I said, pushing her hand away from my crotch, "I love you."

She squinched her eyebrows, "But you don't want me to sit on your dick?"

"I want to know if you love me too."

"Seth, are you saying you don't want to have sex? Look, I'm glad you love me. That's nice, and I love spending time with you, but isn't it a bit soon to be so serious?"

"Nice. That's all you think this is? Nice? Is this just about sex for you? I want more than that, Kate!"

"Shit! Do we have to do this now? You don't have to freak out about this. I know you had a shitty day at your mom's, but now you're going way too far in the other direction. Just drop it. If you don't want me to play with you dick, then let's just go to bed." She walked over to the bedroom door.

"I don't want to argue with you, Kate, but this is important! I am telling you that I love you."

Kate turned back, "Oh, you don't love me! Please, you hardly know me well enough to love me. Just because your sister was a bitch and your mom is pushing you at someone else doesn't mean that we are all of a sudden ready to get married! Why are you reacting like this? Slow down!"

"This isn't about Sue and Leah. This is about you and me and where we are going."

"Oh, like hell it isn't about them. They were being terrible and now you are acting like it's the end of the world. Ignore them, this doesn't have to change us. I like being with you. That should be enough for now."

I sighed and moved off the couch. Not knowing what to do was unsettling. Was this too fast? Because loving Kate just felt right.

"Come to bed. I don't want to fight with you either. I just want to sleep," pleaded Kate.

We got under the covers of her bed and I wrapped my arms around her to snuggle close. But apparently even that was too much.

"Seth, let go. Don't smother me." She pushed my arm off and turned away.

I sighed and lay on my back staring at the ceiling.

I did not sleep well after arguing with Kate. My stomach was still tense and my dreams disturbed. Flashes of Leah screaming, Kate walking away and Rachel in a white dress freaked me out. I woke up sweating and stressed. I reached for Kate, who pressed back and murmured, "You ok?" in a very sleepy voice.

It was enough that she cared if something was wrong. I nodded into her neck and was able to drift back to sleep. This time, my arm was securely wrapped around her waist. She would keep the nightmarish images away.

The alarm was loud and unfamiliar. It was also on my side of the bed and I couldn't figure out how to turn the fucker off.

"Where is the snooze, damn it?"

"Seth, just turn it off."

"How exactly?"

Kate just turned her head under her pillow.

Well, I was awake now and so I sat up and turned on the light to see the alarm better. Stupid piece of shit, the snooze is only the huge button on the top, why couldn't I make it work? I yawned and fell back on the bed. I reached my hands out blindly and found Kate's breasts.

"Ahhh… much better. You have the best pillows. I want to sleep with these every night."

"Oh get off, Seth."

"Humm, I'd hoped to, but that tone of voice says that chances are not looking good."

Kate giggled, "I have to get up, are you showering here with me or at your place?"

It is my policy never to pass up an opportunity to see Kate naked, so showering together was fine with me. Maybe I would get off. Or she could get me off. Better yet, we could get off together. So many hopeful possibilities.

Every single one was dashed when I saw the size of her shower. It was fucking small. We barely had room to move. Not the luxurious, sensual experience I was imagining. Kate's place had privacy, but the complex was an older style and had only minimal space. Few closets, low ceilings and tiny bathrooms.

My apartment building was newer, modern and huge in comparison, with an awesome view. But I had roommates to deal with. That definitely needed to change – Kate should live with me. The master bathroom off my bedroom had multiple sinks, a long counter, Italian tile and a large shower/bath combo that could easily accommodate at least six of the different sexual positions I was imagining.

Kate's shower had only one benefit. We were in constant contact. No bad thing as we were dripping wet and soapy, but getting release was difficult to accomplish in a box the size of a phone booth. I had to be content with merely fondling and rubbing up against her.

Kate was feeling no restrictions and grabbed my dick, stroking me as we kissed. She had her hand wrapped loosely around me, rubbing her thumb over the head on each downward stroke.

"Kate, baby that feels so good."

"Let me hear you, show me how much you like it."

"Uh, I do, I do," and then I couldn't continue without her mouth. I shoved my tongue into her and she just kept stroking and kissing. She moved her hand with more intensity and speed. When I could no longer contain my moans, I came, jerking against her. With my eyes closed and her body pressed against mine, I was transported. I forced myself to open my eyes, locking onto her stunning blue gaze and wanted it to last forever.

"Move in with me." The minute the words were out of my mouth, I knew it was the wrong thing to say.

"No. You're crazy! I am not moving in with you. You have roommates, I like my place, and we've known each other less than a month." Kate shook her head, rinsed off, and got out of the shower.

After I dried off and got dressed, I heated the water for her tea as Kate made me some toast. I haven't converted her into a cereal monger yet. She didn't say much and I didn't want to start arguing again, so we munched on breakfast in relative quiet.

I needed clean clothes before work, and was almost to the door heading out when Kate called me back.

"Get your ass over here and kiss me goodbye properly!"

I laughed and swung her up, lifting her so she sat up top on the kitchen counter. I was glad that she wasn't mad.

"Beautiful Katie," I sighed and cupped her cheek, smoothing her blond curls away from her face, "so domestic and nurturing."

"Ha. Where are my pearls?"

We kissed again and I promised to call her later.

The presentation at work went long, but I did text her that dinner wouldn't work as we had to take out the clients and entertain them since we'd signed the deal. She had Tuesday booked with clients, so that left Wednesday and I usually tried to get to the gym at least twice a week. We traded texts and agreed to meet late in the evening, as that was best for Kate.

I could see that she was stressing out when I saw her pounding away on the treadmill. Kate looked tired. I wanted to wrap her up and carry her off to take care of her.

"It's just this case," she said, "there is a potentially abusive situation in the family and the executor who is in charge of all the details of the deceased mother's trust is being sued. There are two elderly sisters involved, who are the primary beneficiaries, but the other family members are causing all kinds of problems. They are all just swimming in cash, of course, and everyone is represented by legal counsel, so it all takes forever. It is just a pain to hash it out in court, especially since they were trying to avoid probate. I feel sad for these two women; they are sweet, but clearly not remotely competent to deal with the magnitude of all of this. It is painful to sit and watch this family fighting it out over the money, completely ignoring the needs to these women."

I was paying attention as she explained. I heard her. I was sympathetic and knew she needed comforting and not a grab ass boyfriend. But for the record, she looked fuck hot in her tight, black workout pants, v-neck top and that long ponytail, swinging everywhere as she ran and talked and got all worked up with righteous indignation over those two old ladies with the greedy bastards for family.

So I was patient. We finished our workout by the weight machines and took turns helping each other stretch. After we left the gym, I took her around the building's corner and moved her against the wall, pressing close. She needed to be good and kissed.

About ten minutes later we both broke for air and I was fucking pleased that the sparkle was back in her eyes.

"Have lunch with me tomorrow," I said impulsively. I didn't think there was anything on my schedule I couldn't cancel.

"Okay, lets meet somewhere near the courthouse. How about that deli around the corner on Palisades Ave? They have the best corned beef on rye."

"Sounds delicious. I've gotten their soup delivered to the office."

Kate smiled and said, "How about noon?" I nodded and she said, "Okay, then I need to get home. I'm getting chilly, so let's go."

"Why didn't you bring a jacket? You're going to get pneumonia!"

"Well, cool weather sometimes feels pretty good after a hard workout, but then I don't usually make out against a stone building afterwards."

"Hum, good thing too, your boyfriend might get jealous."

Kate rolled her eyes. "Yeah, well my boyfriend needs to take a valium. He needs to chill. I'm an adult and can take care of myself."

I could hear the annoyance in her voice and knew I'd pushed too much, but I couldn't seem to help it. I'd never felt like this before. I needed a permanent tie to Kate and it felt like she was shrugging it off. I wouldn't let her push me away. I needed her too badly.

"See you tomorrow, Beautiful," I said in a soft voice.

Smack – she threw me a kiss and got in her Volvo and drove off.

* * *

**~*~**

**Go check out my profile for the link to see Seth Smut pictures! Weeeee**

**I am feeling highly triumphant in my successful defeat of the evil websites that were oozing un-cooperation. Fuckers. The battle was long and hard and involved much trickery and deceit. Somewhere there ought to be a triumphal arch dedicated to me for overcoming my complete technical ineptitude and actually getting them posted all by myself!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Seth Smut**

**Inspiration for this chapter involved many searches of delicious food pics. So, staying with that theme, here are my favorite foodie related fics: "Tapas at Twilight" by Melolabel, "Molto Bella" by ObsessingOverEdward and of course the great and wonderful cookie epic "Wide Awake" by angstgoddess003**

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Chapter 9 ~*~

Kate and I met for lunch at Kenny and Zuke's Deli. She must go there a lot because she waved to the girl slicing meat as we entered. We order at the counter and while I'm tempted by their Hungarian Mushroom soup that I got last time; I go for a sandwich. It wasn't too busy with the standard lunch crowd, and we found a table by the far door. I got the deli club with corned beef and turkey and Kate had their Ruben salad. I stupidly tried the impossible and attempted to take a bite of my sandwich, which is about seven inches tall. Insane. You need a detachable jaw to eat these things. So, as my face is all busy trying to deal with the food I've stuffed in, Kate starts talking.

"I've been thinking about this all week, Seth." Crap – is she breaking up with me? Motherfucking sandwich, how am I going to stop her when I can't even form audible words; there's too much food in my damn mouth!

"I have been by myself for over 15 years. After my mom died, I found a way to get through school on my own. I searched out scholarships, got a job, and paid tuition. It took me almost six years to get my degree finished, but I did it. I made the decision to move. I was the one who packed up my things after I graduated. I was the one who drove west over 3,000 miles to Washington. It took for freakin' ever since it was just me doing all the driving. Did you know that the I-90 goes through like five states? It was boring as hell, but I did it. Do you know why I even choose to come to Seattle?"

I just shook my head, relieved that we were focused on her past right now, not on her leaving me.

"I was still in shock about my mom's death when I found out about Garrett's too. I was running away, but I couldn't handle anyplace sunny. People are too happy when they live in the sunshine. I needed clouds and rain. If I'd moved to LA, I think I would have snapped and bashed someone's head in for being so perky. I choose a rainy, cold, gray place because that was all I could tolerate. And when I got here, I went out and interviewed until I got a job. I looked around and eventually found my own apartment. I forced myself to build a real life. I have some friends, I date, and my life is ok."

She dates. Oh Fuck. Here it comes. I've swallowed all of my monster bite of food, but I can't seem to say anything out loud. All I can do is listen and memorize the expressions on her face so I will remember her when she's gone.

"I mean, it's not perfect. I know I've got issues. But I like my independent life. I know who I am and what I want. I am not a girl who wants nothing more than to run down the aisle of a church like the rest of the lemmings in white poufy dresses. I am not looking for a soul mate, a diamond solitaire, or the patter of little baby footsteps right now. And I didn't think you were either. But if you need that girl, if you need a wedding and a white picket fence, well, you've got to look somewhere else. I can't be that girl for you. And when you say things like move in with me, or keep asking me if I love you, that's the vibe I get. Like my apartment isn't good enough or my life that I've carved out isn't good enough or I'm not good enough. It's like you are telling me that you don't want what we have right now. That you don't want us as friends, as lovers, as boyfriend and girlfriend. But that's all I'm ok with right now. I like the life I've made for myself, my comfy rut. I like my job and my apartment and my boyfriend. Not to get all Bridget Jones sappy or anything, but I like to you. Just as you are. I like dating you. You're a good boyfriend, you're funny, smart, successful, the sex is great, and the flirting is really fun. I like you."

Maybe the silence thing is working in my favor. Maybe I'm not being dumped.

"I do like you, Seth, and maybe I'll fall in love with you someday. But I am not there yet. I am careful, guarded with my heart. Too many people I've loved have broken my heart in unrepairable ways. So you need to slow down, or find someone else."

Shit, now she's gone all quiet. I have to say the right thing here. And what the hell would that be??? Think, Seth!

"Okay."

"That's all? Ok- slow down or ok- you're going to go fuck someone else?"

"Christ, Kate, keep your voice down. I want to be with you, alright. I love you. But you've been talking for almost 20 minutes here and that is a lot of serious stuff to think about. Give me some time to process it all."

"Okay, well, I want to be with you too. But you can't go all possessive and clingy on me like this weekend."

We are both quite for a bit.

"So, the sex is great? Just great? Not fantastic, mind blowing, phenomenal, or stupendous? You sure it's just great?"

She smiled, "Well, maybe mind blowing."

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**~*~**

**Ok, so it was super short. Deal. I'm hungry. Anyone feel like a field trip for a nosh? Kenny and Zuke's Deli is real, but actually in Portland, OR. Would someone please pick me up a Ruben with everything but a pickle? I update faster when my stomach isn't growling. **

**Check out my profile page for updating news.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Seth Smut**

**My muse has been elusive; like the non-existent, vanishing, AWOL kind of elusive. **

**I've been seriously annoyed about the smut delay. I was completely committed to a weekly update schedule until C.9 left me in a muddle. Seth was refusing to speak to me so I was about ready to dump him and transfer this all to Kate's viewpoint, but I kept vacillating from one crap idea to another. Obviously, this story is still searching for a beta soul mate. Could that be you? **

**Plus, there was this movie that came out that I had to see a few billion times to drool over the half-naked men… and some rather important family holidays came around with relatives descending en mass… and there were the craptastic trials/tribulations related to job #1 and job #2 and my husband's lack of a job to stress about… blah, blah, blah. Why are you still reading this? I always skip over the author's crap.**

**So, with no further excuses or self justification - **

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Chapter 10 ~*~

Why did I always seem to want Kate so much more than she wanted me?

Kate had not broken up with me. This was good. We were still together. However, I was not happy that Kate seemed so satisfied with keeping things the way they were. What was so great about her being all independent? I mean I like that she had a job and a house and could take care of herself, but I want to take care of her too.

I want her to be at least a little dependent on me. What kind of man would I be if I didn't have that possessive, protective vibe going? I want her to be fully mine. I want her to want me as much as I want her. I totally feel like a needy, clingy dork otherwise.

I told her I loved her and wanted to be with her, but she doesn't even believe that I am telling the truth when I say I love her. How do I fix that? What could I possibly say to convince her? I mean it just kills me that she talks so cavalierly about her heart being broken by everyone she's ever loved. I would never do that to her! But it's like she is pushing me away before anything can happen.

She doesn't even want me to love her; she's completely uncomfortable with me saying anything serious. God forbid I ask her to move in with me. She didn't even want to discuss it. I want to live with her because then we'd get to be together all the time. How is this a bad thing? I mean, sure, maybe dating for a month is a little fast to get serious. Maybe it was too soon to ask, but she really overreacted! It wasn't a fully thought out proposal or anything. I wasn't asking her to choose a china pattern and sign a marriage license. I just said what I was thinking.

I don't want her to think that my wanting her even more in my life is a dismissal of everything she has built for herself. I want her to be able to set all the stuff from the past aside and be with me. But how the heck do you tell someone that and not sound like a prick? Her past, and mine for that matter, are always going to affect what we've got here. I just don't want this misunderstanding. She's interpreting my "I love you's" as "You're not good enough's." How will going slow and keeping things as they are change her opinion on that?

Arrgg. Rehashing this over and over is not helping.

I've still got no answers and now I'm just frustrated. Time to get the hell out of my room before I go crazy. I'm feeling too much like some emo teenager as it is. I'm an adult for fuck's sake. I should be able to deal with my life without all this mental torture.

"I'm going for a jog."

"Well, whoop-de-doo for you," replied Jake. The jerk was really getting on my nerves lately. He was on the couch with a beer in one hand, game controller in the other.

"Have fun killing people, asshole."

"Hey!" He pointed at me with his beer, "They're aliens. They deserve killing."

"Sure, Jake. Whatever."

Apparently I was not properly impressed so he paused the game. Jake carefully put down his beer and the controller. He stood up and walked to face me with the most serious expression I'd ever seen on the guy.

"Seth. Fuck, dude! What is wrong with you? This is Alien vs. Predator here!" He pointed to the screen. "Sega isn't even going to release it publically for two more months and I HAVE THE GAME!"

He emphasized each word as he gripped my shoulders, shaking me. He pointed again, "This is actually the special Hunter Edition for the XBOX. It is my duty as a MAN to kill these aliens!"

"So how did you get it? Did you take a trip to Japan I didn't hear about? Do you work for Sega's competition as a corporate spy?" I scoffed; not believing him or really caring even if it was true.

"No, no. My cousin in San Francisco works for Sega and he loaned me his advance copy. No one's supposed to have these yet. I had to swear that after I play it this weekend I'll give it back to him. He's up here for a week visiting his parents for the holiday. This is a fucking limited time offer, Sethy boy! We could be playing the greatest game ever right now while every other poor schmoe has to wait 'till the middle of February!"

I rolled my eyes again and grabbed my keys. His enthusiasm was not contagious.

"Oh, come on! You can be the predator, the alien or the marine. It's so awesome!"

I turned to leave but he kept going on about the greatness of the game. I could still hear him yelling about how I was being a wuss after I closed the door. I walked down the stairs and out the building. My mind was elsewhere.

I knew where I wanted to go. The woods north of La Push were my second home growing up. Running the trails there weren't boring like going around a flat, oval track. My favorite spot at home was around a canyon. When I ran those trails full of hills going up and down I felt like I was getting a real workout. Plus there were a number of good lookout spots where the views were amazing. I guess being surrounded by nature took my mind off everything.

Unfortunately, I was in the city. I would have to make do with Woodland Park. It wasn't so bad if you didn't mind hearing screaming kids on the swing set. There were soccer games being played when I got there, but the track was empty. Running on a track made me feel like a trained animal going in circles getting nowhere. All I needed was a collar and leash.

I turned on my ipod and stared to run, not bothering to stretch first. I needed some physical exertion to feel like myself again. Running usually helped. The rhythm of the music matched the beat of my feet on the dirt track. Eurasure's Oh L' Amour was next; good dance beat, but the lyrics killed me. What's a boy in love supposed to do? SKIP to the next song. Vertigo by U2 will do

It felt good to push myself so I picked up the pace. I was breathing hard, feeling the strain in my calves as I rounded my second lap at top speed. After another complete lap running as fast as I could, I slowed down, panting.

I paused to catch my breath and decided to do the smart thing and stretch out my muscles that were tingling from intensity. When I started up again I found a stride that I could pace myself with. With nothing interesting going on around me I jogged on, letting my thoughts wander.

Running is a lot like sex. Sometimes it just has to be pounded out, hard and fast, all the way to the point of exhaustion. Sometimes it feels better to take your time with a steady rhythm. Today I needed a little bit of both.

Great. You know how uncomfortable it is to run with a hard on?

I kept running, able to suppress it and continue with my pace.

I wanted to keep running for at least another half hour, but maybe I should call Kate this afternoon when I was done. I've been so caught up with everything inside my head that it would be downright healthy to focus on the physical. We could agree on that if nothing else. After all, Kate did admit that we had mind blowing sex.

* * *

**~*~**

**On a different note, I was so impressed with the movie, New Moon, that I felt inspired to write a one-shot, _Heart We Will Forget Him_, that expands on why Bella can't stand music. You should check it out. Who knew I had it in me to write a Bella POV? I surprised myself. You could surprise me with a review… **


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